WifeWisdom: Dreams vs. Lies

Photo from 08/07/82, tweaked a few days ago…

I’ve started a new category of posts on this here blog thingie… WifeWisdom.

Granted, it’s  w a a a y  overdue.

My beloved is wise, and if I am wise at all it’s because I listen to her. I don’t do it always, not nearly as much as I should, but the more I listen, the more I learn.

Which is pretty much the case in everything, isn’t it?

So today, as I am wont to do, I was thinking about my aspirations, my dreams, and the need for me to have a purpose, a direction. Such lines of thought seem to always discourage me – what a shock, eh? Perky Captain Cal brought down by a pesky little thing like reality? Say it ain’t so!

It is.

My beloved responds that I’m listening to lies from Sightblinder. And instead of making the royal raspberry of rejection, I was actually listening. And even asked a question – “If it’s all lies, then how do I tell the difference between a reality check (A random thought, a concern, a question, clarification.) and a lie (Something that will just bind you, darken your heart and close your eyes. It will rob your light and kill any chance of seeing a possible path before you.)? How do I identify a potential direction and tell it from something that, when I ponder it, only leads to darkness when reality and pessimism kicks in?”

And she replies…

“When there is no hope, it’s a lie.”

Holy Cannoli.

That there is something to ponder. To explore. To write through.

Alright, so when I think something like, “It would be amazing to finally get the clutter under control so we can live and breathe in our house without all the chaos…”

Well, that’s good.

Leave it right there, use it to kick start the motor, and get going on it. It’s a valuable dream, it’d make a great goal, and it’s worth the mind-numbing amount of work because the end would be amazing.


If I add on to it…

“But I talk about it all the time, yak yak yak, and nothing ever changes. Nothing ever gets accomplished, so it never will. I want to, I need to, but my history shows that I never finish projects, so I’m pretty sure I won’t finish this one either…”

That’s where it turns into a lie, right?

And yes, I know most adults would read that and go, “Yes… duh. Can’t you tell that without having to put training wheels on it like you’re seven years old??”

No. Not yet, anyway. I’m getting there – slowly.

Let’s try again…

“I’d really love to write a book. I’d like to speak to people, share the story and the hope my new life has shown, so that they know that God works in all our lives in amazing ways. I’ve fallen in love with writing, and I would really love to see the stories of God’s grace take hold in others’ lives, to encourage them.”


“It’s a LOT of work – it takes 10,000 hours of practice to put a dream into reality. I don’t know what I’m doing as a writer, since you have to study and work and really hone your craft. And when it comes to the writing craft, I’m the village idiot. Anyway, my history says quite clearly that I never excel at anything because I’m never willing to put the drive and will and work into pursuing something. I do stuff, but I do it on the fly, pulling it off but only as far as I can without actually working on it. I don’t put in the time, I don’t pay my dues, I just wing it. So I’ll never accomplish that dream – I lack the drive and will to work.”

Well, that there is the lie. Yup. Whomp, there it is.

So, I notice that the “lie” (if I’m actually correct in identifying it as such) is about twice as long as the “dream.” If it was a teeter totter, the dream would be stuck hanging in the air, never getting a chance to touch the ground.

Hence the darkness. Cannon fodder for depression. Can you hear the chains clinking and the shackles warming up for the big grab?

(And actually, I am learning a little about this writing gig – I actually went back a bit there and corrected my tense… or at least eased some tension. Whatever. Anyway, I’m learning. Really.)

So there’s a couple of points I’m seeing here –

1) Look at a dream or idea, and, if it’s worthy, turn it into action. Then STOP and go do it – don’t drop the other shoe. See it, turn it, DO it.

1.5) The process of putting it into action will refine it, pare it down, and smooth it down from a rough rock to a precious stone. But that only happens through work – through friction and shaping and cutting and pounding. Let the idea live – reality and the process are the rock tumbler.

1.75) If you cut it off at the knees, listing all the ways that it’s never going to happen, never going to work, then you’ll NEVER grow, you’ll NEVER see just how much you’re capable of, and you’ll NEVER take anything new on. Want to stay in the darkness you’re in? Do nothing – darkness in da house. Hand delivered. With a big black bow on top.

2) Don’t let the weight of a lie keep a dream or a goal hanging in the air, never having a chance to touch the ground, gain traction and get going. If the lie is all that ever touches the ground, ideas never become real.

3) Don’t let the weight of your past, your history, your track record keep you from pursuing something. We’re all broken, we all fail, but that doesn’t determine the now or the future – only God determines that. And He loves His kids!

After all, Cal asks Cal, have you been ReBorn, or haven’t you? Huh? HUH?

4) By the act of telling yourself that you won’t work hard enough, you don’t have the drive, you don’t have the will, guess what? You just robbed yourself of the drive, the will, and the momentum to actually do the work. You just sunk your own battleship.

(Sorry this sounds like every cheesy motivational poster ever hung on the gloom of an office wall. I need to give myself a stern talking to, and unfortunately for you, you’re along for the ride. Hang in there – I’m almost done having a word with myself. Thank you.)

So I’m placing these signposts where I’ll find them tomorrow, this week, next week, next month, as a path toward a habit of turning ideas and dreams into goals and actions.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a job to go to. Then supper to make after that, and perhaps a bit of crochet before bed. As for tomorrow, there’s a whole lot of things that need a kick start as we roll on down the road from dream, to goal, to real.

To Herself:
Thanks, beloved. I always listen. Sometimes I hear. So keep talking – I appreciate it.

“If there is no hope, it’s a lie.”

WifeWisdom indeed.

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