The high price of being me…

Next time you see Vicki, give her a hug for me. It’s not easy being married to the Captain, so she deserves all the “attaboy”s that you can give. 🙂 For example…

This weekend was one of those rollercoaster weekends for my sleep schedule. I think most of you are aware by now that I have sleep apnea (Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, the docs call it), which means I use a CPAP machine to aid my breathing each night. In other words, I’m a hosehead (which is how we describe ourselves). “Up your nose with a rubber hose” comes close to it, although it’s more like “over your nose with a silicon hose… and mask.”

So, Friday night I was up all night, into Saturday. Saturday night, I got 7 hours into Sunday morning. Sunday night into Monday, no sleep. And, Monday night into Tuesday, 4 hours. Normally, (can I even use that word in this context???) I can handle one night of no sleep, but having two of them that close together has really zapped me. So, I hear you ask, can’t you just take a nap? Nope – wish I could. Taking a nap moves me further away from getting back to a regular sleep schedule.

See, at least for me, my body tends to store up extra sleep. So, even when I’ve gotten 10 or 11 hours, I’m still a bit tired because all I did was recharge the sleep batteries – didn’t actually create a surplus. 2 or 3 nights of 9 or 10 hours would create a surplus, but that never happens. My usual pattern is get a long night, then a lot of short ones in a row, then a long one, and so on. And, right now, the batteries are nigh unto dead, so I’ve got no reserves to compensate.

The other down side is what being awake all night does to my legs. The excess fluid starts to pool in my legs, and without a long night of sleep (not just sitting with my legs elevated, but actually sleeping), they don’t get a chance to get rid of it. So, my legs are pretty big right now. Unless something changes, I’ll probably have a gain at the weigh-in this week. The excess fluid adds a lot to the scale…

Why this long, L-O-N-G missive? Well, first, to make sure that Vicki gets a lot of hugs – she rides through these things with me, never complaining when I’m restless at 5 in the morning, but always wanting to do whatever she can to aid me. And, to give you a little glimpse into another’s world, so that you might see God’s goodness in your own life.

Do I see it in mine? Oh yes!!! Even with all this, I see His grace, His mercy, His ever-present care. If you’re really curious, chat with me sometime and I’ll tell you about it – it’s just too long to add to this already-massive post. After all, telling each other our stories of Him and how He moves in our lives in so many ways is what we’re supposed to do – to cheer each other on as part of the great cloud of witnesses from Hebrews 12 and to encourage each other to press on in the race. Be encouraged, dearhearts – He is there, and He cares for you!

As for the title of this post, sometimes I’ll be doing something and just sigh when things are weighing me down. Vicki will ask what’s wrong, and I’ll often respond, “It’s just the high price of being me…” 🙂

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