I’m working my way through an online course to help with food and eating issues – OK, actually I just started it today. 😀 The first lesson got me thinking about life, the universe, and everything…
All together, now…
(if you didn’t join in with that, no worries – just means that you don’t know the ultimate answer… or the question for that matter)
Why am I trying to lose weight? Hmmm…
1) for health reasons – so that I can move around without wanting to fall over
2) for life reasons – to be around longer for my family and friends
3) for service reasons – to continue to use my gifts for God
Honestly, appearance or vanity never enters into it. I’m not trying to fit into that purple Speedo for beach season (I pause to allow collective retching and ralphing…), or to look better for my next album cover. (in face, you’ll NEVER see my face on any of my covers… there is a pic of me on the back of the Advent CD, but it’s just there for comic relief) The thought of trying to make myself look better for vanity’s sake never really entered my mind. Although it’d be nice to be a sweeter piece of Arm Candy for my honey… 😀
My main motivation is not to “be,” but to “do.” To ride, to live, to travel, to play and write, to create, and to love my beloved. So, is that the right answer?
I guess not.
Lesson one points to the real reason for this journey – the glory of God. I’ve often quoted that passage that talks about everything we do, being done for God’s glory. But what about who we are? Giving Him glory just by being who He made us? That’s one that I have trouble wrapping my head around. Doesn’t help that my self-image is pretty much compost. I find value in what I do, not who I am. But that’s not the right foundation to start from.
Those of you who are all about the worldview will recognize that flaw right away. A Christian worldview starts with God being at the center, and everything else built upon that. So it’s no surprise that the pursuit of weight loss and heath should focus not on me, but on God and His glory. Glorifying Him by submitting to a program? Yeah, but mostly giving Him glory through His work in me. It’s not what I DO, but what He does – transforming me into the image of Jesus.
“Nevertheless when one turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 3:16-18
I’ve never looked in a mirror and said, “God’s glory!” When I look in a mirror, I see flaws, I see scars and marks, wear and tear, and all the little things that go along with getting ready to turn 50. I see eyes that have been lonely, been hurt and disappointed, have failed, suffered, fallen short, and are tired. Just as when I hear a piece of music I wrote or recorded, or look at a piece of jewelry I made, I see the flaws. Just the flaws.
But I should see glory. Transformation “from glory to glory.” The journey moves from a wretched failure, trying one more time to push the boulder uphill, and expecting to have it roll back and flatten me one more time, to a journey from glory to glory, where the effort expended is simply to honor the One who it’s all about. The focus is not on me – if it is, all I’ll see are the flaws and the failure. The focus is on Him, and His strength being made perfect in my weakness. His glory, being revealed in how He’s working in me.
At my last weigh-in, the Behaviorist at Weigh to Wellness said, “when you pull into Arby’s and you’re thinking about what you’re doing there, does God ever enter into those thoughts?” How does your faith apply when you’re waiting to order food that will ultimately kill you?
When the focus shifts to God’s glory, all the thoughts of me and what I want get laid aside. (hopefully – it’s still a battle, and a major re-routing of life patterns) He becomes the focus, not “what does Cal’s spoiled brat inner child want to indulge in?“
This is the stuff that’ll be rattling around in my head today… If you hear a strange noise, that’s probably it. 😀