The two things I’ve been most concerned in this time of transition in my life have been 1) lack of purpose – what do I do with my time now? What is the new direction I’m supposed to head in? Not to mention income 😀 ; and 2) will I get so depressed from my change of situation that I’ll begin to pack on the pounds again, and regain all the weight I’ve lost? (sleep is a whole ‘nother matter…)

Purpose is getting there. I’m taking 4 more jewelry classes in April, I have two weddings to be involved in in May, there’s a gig on the horizon for August, and some cousins in Ohio might be having me come down to play at their daughter’s wedding in September. Then there’s Toonz, since the new programs start in April, and we’ll see if people like them, or if stations drop the show en masse. So between magic and storytelling, music, and jewelry making, I seem to be seeing some purpose.

Weight is an issue… I was at 366, and have slowly crept up back to near 400. I was afraid with the quantity I’ve been eating lately, not to mention my lack of dicipline on vacation, that I would be well over 400 and back on my way to 486. BUT, the scale tells me today that I’m at 397… haven’t broken 400 yet, and there’s still time to turn it around. It’s not easy – but it’s possible.

I haven’t been back to MMPC in almost a year – at first, I just put it off. Now, I’ve gained so much and lost so much control, that I’m ashamed to go back, and see the folks who cheered me on when I was losing. It’s strange – I know that going back to class, getting back in the groove is the only thing that will allow me to get back in control, but I’m just too embarrassed to do it. I see that the pride my mom struggled with all her life is also an issue I’ll have to deal with. 🙂

But, for now, I haven’t hit 400. It’s not too late. I hope…