Throwback TH / Funny FR / Thanksgiving Something!!!

“RELEASE THE KRAKEN!”

Written on a weekday morning, in homage to a chicken. Reposted today, in homage to a turkey. And stuffing. And other assorted holiday stuff. Nom… 

Dear Chicken,

My. That seems so cold and formal… do you mind if I call you Chicky? No? Thanks much…

Dear Chicky,

You are gone, dispatched, shipped, cooked, packaged and now removed from my fridge for the final indignity – deboned. I truly hope that your brief life was pleasant, and that your departure from this world was humane and kind, but since I didn’t know you then or have any control of that, let’s move on…

As I… um… remove your non-tasty bits and place your um… tasty bits into a storage bag, I wanted to express my appreciation. I’m a post-surgical patient who depends on creatures like you and some of your feathered relatives to supply me with lots and lots of protein, so without your contribution to my life, I’d soon become malnourished, my hair would fall out, and I’d wind up taking a vacation at St. Mary’s. You help prevent that, and I thank you.

In addition, I’m one of those poor souls who gags every time I try to eat Tofu, certain beans no longer work with my new physiology, and one can only swallow so many protein shakes. So again, the place you have in my day-to-day existence is important, and once again I say thanks.

The Creator who made us both and decided where our place would be on the… um… well, let’s just say it, the food chain, He chose your particular rung, and He chose mine. And although at first glance that would appear to place me on a ‘higher’ rung than you, the truth is that with a higher rung comes more responsibility. He reminds me to be mindful, to be caring and compassionate, to be a good steward of His creation, and above all to be thankful.

So, rest assured that the portion of your existence that has come into my home will be treated with respect. The parts that are useful will be used to benefit myself, my wife, and, should some scraps fall to the floor, our dog. The non-useful parts (which is another discussion entirely) will be disposed of with proper care and dignity. (Although what happens to them after they make their way to the big blue plastic thingie is out of my control – sorry…)

Your useful parts will find their way into a number of wonderful places, such as the Ramen noodles I am presently enjoying. Indeed, they have added some wonderful flavor and texture to the noodles, for which some grain gave up its existence, as well as the most mysterious substance in our world, the bright yellow powder in the silver packet. (Oh so tasty, but I really don’t want to know what that stuff is…) In a few hours, more of your tasty parts will join some Roma tomatoes and flatbread to make a lovely sandwich, anointed with that other mysterious substance, Miracle Whip, that I love so very much.

I guess the point of these random thoughts while engaged in removing the non-tasty bits from the tasty bits is this: to be mindful of God’s good gifts, from the creatures, to the grain, to the mysterious substances, as He again provides what we need for this day. So, with a grateful heart and a full tummy, I thank Him. And you.

*belch*

Sorry you had to hear that. It must have been the noodles – certainly not you. Really. No, really.

*burp*

Alright – that was the dog. You can’t pin that one on me. Nope. See? She’s licking her chops. Sure sign of… um… something. Yeah.

Until we meet again, in a couple of hours, I remain,

Your friend, ever so briefly,

Cal

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.