Movies According To Cal

Because it’s Wednesday,

Because I have to go spend the afternoon up to my elbows in dishes before putting a glazed pork loin in the oven for dinner,

And because I’m trying to emulate one of my blogging idols, the Pioneer Woman, who often uses this exact format for some of her posts, but then announces a wondrous prize giveaway whilst I am giving away nothing but (hopefully) a few smiles,

We present a list of Cal’s all-time 100% never-fail sure-to-make-him-smile, laugh, weep or belch, FAVORITE MOVIES!!!

Bonus feature – a favorite quote from said movie. Extra value for your reading pleasure… Or whatever you call it.

(please hold your applause until the end… If at all)

10) Harry Potter and the whatever-it-is-thingie-du-jour… Love ’em all, especially when viewed with a RiffTrax playing. “You’re a little scary – you know that? Brilliant… But scary.”

(RiffTrax, while immensely enjoyed by Cal and endured by Vicki, are most certainly not advisable for all audiences. Individual discretion is advised)

A RiffTrax HP quote? Hmmm… nope. I’ll give you a quote – just not yet. Patience, my young padawan. Which brings us to…

9) Star Wars… All 6 of ’em. Sweetness. And yes, I do listen to the RiffTrax with these too. “Obi-Wan has taught you well.”

8) Down Periscope… One of those guilty pleasure movies that makes me laugh out loud every time. “It’s a complete piece of… antiquated equipment, sir.”

7) The Princess Bride… Because every movie list must contain it. No exceptions. It’s a rule. Really go look it up.

A quote? No – most folks can quote the whole movie. At least, most folks that I hang out with.

6) Batman… In all its many forms and variations, from Adam West to Michael Keaton to George Clooney through The Dark Night. Oh, and even Val What’s-His-Name, when I’m feeling giddy. “If you kill him, he won’t learn nuttin’!”

6) TRON… both classic and Legacy, which ABSOULTELY ROCKS!!! “I fight for the users!”

5) The Incredibles… Totally amazing, and what a great soundtrack. “that was totally WICKED!!”

4) LOTR… All three, extended editions or theatrical releases with RiffTrax. “The salted pork is especially good.”

Overheard in the RiffTrax in Return Of The King when the Palantir says, “I see you,” RiffTrax says, “oh, it’s just a Navi, trying to bond.”

3) Up… One of my absolute favorites, especially to watch with Vicki. We weep like willows within the first 2 minutes of this baby. “SQUIRREL!!” (pause, looking around…)

Actually, the best quote would be “Thanks for the adventure!” (Vicki got some tears just reading that)

2) Avatar… I know – everybody lists Avatar, but if I don’t list it, then I don’t get to insert my favorite RiffTrax quote, when she says “you’re like a baby!” and the RiffTrax says ” you’re like a baby – eatin’ da strained peas an’ poopin’ in yer Uggies!”

Vicki about throttled my nephew and I when we saw the re-release of Avatar in the IMAX and we were quoting the RiffTrax all through the film…

1.5) what? Hey – my list, my rules…

1.5) Cars… Saw it opening weekend at the drive-in in Muskegon, and it’s been a fave ever since. “Will you turn down that disrespectful noise?” “Respect the classics, man – it’s Hendrix!”

And now, the top of the heap, the pick of the pile, the crown jewel of the ring pop…

1) Nanny McPhee / Nanny McPhee Returns… Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Emma Thompson is so gifted in so many ways, and these movies show that so well. “I am Nanny McPhee – small C, big P.”

So, what can one say about such a list? All-encompassing? Totally reflective of all that is cinema? Wrong-headed, narrow and useless? Well, dear friends, the bitter truth is this is MY list – how it reflects reality makes no difference whatsoever. In my little world, these movies reign supreme…

Which is just another reason for you all to have the utmost sympathy for Vicki and uphold her with your prayers. Thank you.

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