Well, after singing the praises of my new mask last time, I proceeded to have a sleepless night Wedesday night. Got to the point that every little thing was bugging me, and causing despair. Gave it up around 4:30am, and came out to do some production in my studio.
The tough part about when I have a night like that is that we’ve learned that I can’t take a nap or anything to catch up. When I’ve been up all night, I have to stay awake for most of the day in order to sleep that night. So, I was up fo 30 hours or so. The good thing is that I fell asleep around 11pm, and the mask worked like a charm. I’m learning how to adjust it, and how to be patient with it rather than getting frustrated. Learning, mind you, not learned. Still working on it.
Gained .8 lbs at the weigh-in, but that’s probably fluid in my legs. When I don’t sleep for a good 8 hours or so, my legs don’t reduce in size. And, when I’m actually awake, they swell a bit. I did think to put on my compression stockings so the damage was minimal, but enough to put some poundage on the scale.
When my Mom was in the last months of her life, as her body was shutting down, she had fluid build up in her legs – kind of like what I live with. We had to lift her legs into the car for her, etc. It was really frustrating for her, since she felt like her legs were made out of lead. (The doctor told her that the fluid probably added about 10 pounds to each leg…) Once, as she settled into her chair, weary, she said to me, “If I had known how tough it must be for you, I would have done more things for you and not made you get up so much.” I assured her that my legs are stronger than hers, and that it wasn’t a big thing, but it shows us how much we don’t understand about what others go through. And so, I too need to learn that lesson – don’t be so quick to judge, or even express an opinion, because I don’t truly understand, even though my self-righteous attitude assures me that I do.
Isn’t it great that God really does understand how we feel? In all aspects of our existence, He knows everything of how and what we feel! That cuts a pity party off at the knees – He knows, He understands, and He cares. What a wonderful thing to ponder…
“Oh yes, He cares. I know He cares. His heart is touched by my grief. When the days are dreary, the longs night weary, I know my Saviour cares…”