Funny Friday / Silly Saturday: The Proofreader’s Dream

Herself, my beloved Proofreader, has decided that enough is enough.

It’s the inevitable conflict one might expect when the black and white world of accurate data meets the warm and fuzzy world of comedic license. 

At the top of my blog page is my little byline – “Sharing the Fluffy Goodness, 3.78 readers at a time…” That little attempt at self-deprecating humor makes me smile and keeps me humble. It’s a reminder that the Lord has told me again and again that it doesn’t matter how many (or how few) read these words, as long as I do my job, show up, and write. The writing is for me… if He chooses to use it in other’s lives, that’s His business, and hands off, Calbert.

BUT

The Proofreader, who lives for balanced books, accurate scales, and code that plays like a symphony from on high, is not so easily amused…

FIRST, she gets tired of hearing me mope (in my low moments, I freely admit) that “Nobody reads this poopy, so why do I even bother to write? Why do I waste my time?”

(Those are in the form of questions, which may be my first mistake, since Herself has an almost Pavlovian reaction to questions… if a question is asked, there MUST be an answer. And now that her attention has been drawn to a question, she kicks into Curious George mode and desires to know the answer, if for no other reason than curiosity. And, by all that is semi-translucent and purple, she WILL know that answer.)

Yikes.

So, in order to silence the moping, she’d like to fire off the number of people who actually read this, and say to me, “See? SEE? People READ this. Now stuff a sock in it, and get your saggy hiney out there and WRITE!!”

SECOND, as I mentioned above, she lives in a world of balanced books, accurate scales, and code that plays like a symphony from on high.

Which means that my weak attempt at humor,  “Sharing the Fluffy Goodness, 3.78 readers at a time…” does in fact bring a little angst to her orderly world, since the number must be way, W-A-A-Y higher than that, and although she does have a sense of humor, it doesn’t kick in where facts and figures are concerned.

(She’s proofreading this, and almost twitching with the need to explain that last in a more realistic, factual way, rather than the one-sided and twisted way her beloved is portraying her.)

(Tough. My blog, my rules, he said with abundant love and smiles…)

SO, in the interest of marital harmony, as well as making some small effort in the arena of accuracy, (And I have trouble even typing the word “accuracy” in this blog with a straight face…) and to acknowledge that we did pick up another subscriber along the way in the last couple of weeks, I hereby roll out the NEW byline… Enjoy!

Sharing The Fluffy Goodness, 4.78 Readers at a Time…

There. The Deep Magic AND The Proofreader are appeased. All is well in Narnia. *whew*

Heaven help me if she ever finds out where the actual numbers of page views, etc. are stored. I’ll never hear the end of it…

“WHAT??”

Nothing, honey… just muttering to myself. You know… how I always do… every day… all the time… out loud… *hee hee hee*

Tune in next time to hear BekaV say…

“I heard that. Now, let’s talk about what my silence will cost you – I accept all forms of doggie bacon strips. Let the negotiations begin…”

4 comments

  1. Mr. K. says:

    Cal, I would suggest making statements rather than questions to avoid ringing the proverbial bell, and, in the spirit of harmony, pick up an 8th grade grammar book from a local school district.

    Your colorful, sometimes sarcastic, blog makes me chuckle because I can hear your tenor voice through it all.

    Keep writing! Grammatically correct or not!! 🙂

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