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This Is NOT A Test…

“Here Comes The Sun, and I say, Rowf rowf rowf!!!”

Dear Fellow Michiganders,

(Though applicable to other northern climes, I’m specifically addressing my fellow sojourners in the Land of the Hand and da UP, eh?)

Please proceed to the nearest window and observe the outdoor situation. If the same old ball of grey and dismal greets your optical perception, disregard, head to your kitchen, grab snacks, and carry on.

However, if your optical sensors are assaulted by blinding fiery brilliance, the likes of which you have dim memories of ever beholding, Do. Not. Panic. This is not “the big one, Elizabeth.” (Bonus points if you heard that in Redd Foxx’s voice…) This is not the End of the World as we know it, and I’m feeling fine. (Or however the song goes…) We have lived through this before, and we will do so again. Please take the following actions:

1)  If the outdoor temperature…
     a) is 35°, please dress in jeans, and either long or short sleeves. Sweatshirts are optional, depending on your body fat percentage and metabolism.
     b) exceeds 40°, sweatshirts are not an option, and short sleeves are recommended.
     c) exceeds 45°, short sleeves are mandatory, t-shirts are highly recommended, and shorts are very appropriate.

2) Immediately proceed outdoors. If you are at work, simply inform your supervisor that the sky is on fire and you want to spend your last moments with those you love. They will immediately understand and may even do the same.

Maybe.

Go with your families – your sons, your daughters, your wives. Go with your slaves and servants. Take your flocks and herds, your belongings and your goods. Take with you all the spoils of Egypt that the Lord your God has given into your hands…

Hold on… We’ve just gotten through Exodus in the Daily Audio Bible. I think that might be influencing me a tad. Sorry. Take everybody and go outside – just that. #wellthatwasawkward

3) Stay outdoors while the fiery orb remains above the horizon. If your skin begins to turn pinkish or becomes sensitive or painful, seek some shade, but do not, DO NOT retreat indoors. Remain outdoors – this is for your good, and will encourage those around you.

4) Take pictures, especially selfies of your clan, reveling in the brilliant glow outside. Go to the beach, go to a park, go downtown – go anywhere as long as it’s outdoors. If wearing shorts, be sure to take plenty of pics making note of that fact. Frolic, eat foods, play, dance, engage in tomfoolery, and generally be silly.

5) Post many, many pictures of your outdoor escapades on all social media outlets. If the temperature has not exceeded 50° yet, be sure to make note of this, emphasizing your lack of insulating layers and exhibiting your proud northern spunk and hardiness. Huge bonus points if you tag friends and family living in southern regions who have been rubbing your nose in it all through the dark frozen wasteland of the last few months. Make sure they know you’re running around in shorts in temperatures that would cause them to weep. This is your moment. Make the most of it. Break whatever commands necessary to make them ever so slightly envious. And remind them that this is just a small glimpse of what the wonder of a Michigan summer will look like…

When it gets here in late June.

Now get out there and make it count. Godspeed, my brothers and sisters.

Breathing Again!

And, as the Lord tends to work things out, just as I posted my “Lessons Learned” list., I discover I’ve had the honor of being published on the Breathe Christian Writer’s Conference blog! Oh my heart – it’s always such an honor to be among writers who I admire, and whose sandals I am unworthy to untie.

But I’d totally refill their coffee cups. ’cause I can do dat, yo.

Anyway, if you’d like to check that article out, head here: When We Speak by Cal Olson

Wowsers.

You Have To Believe

If you create, at some point you have to actually believe in what you create.

A long while ago, a friend asked me to consider writing a post for a blog. And at first, I was totally thrilled that they would ask me, then besieged with all manner of ideas, then actually began writing three different posts from little idea seeds that had sprouted…

And then the whole thing died a lingering, slo-mo death. Read more

What Lies Beneath

So, I sent my resume off…

To St. Louis.

Missouri, not Michigan.

Wha?

I know – I don’t understand either. And I’m the one that dun did the deed, so I’m really in it deep now.

In all fairness, the job description is such a fit for me that you could put my picture next to it and it’d be a match.

On the other hand, that’d drastically reduce the amount of interest in the position, so no, probably shouldn’t do that. Read more

Random Conversations

Don’t look up… For the love of doggie bacon strips, don’t look up.”


It’s amazing the things you hear (and see) in a coffee shop. The full range of interaction and conversation, from loving and happy to moody and snarky, from impatience dripping with teenage angst to hackles raised over political and religious debate.

It’s fun, and weird. As long as one is sitting on the sidelines and isn’t drawn into the danger zone, that is… Read more

Looking Through Their Eyes

This is dedicated to friends who have taken the call to go into the world literally, either full-time or short-term, including such folks as our dear Hannah, the Z’s, Baby Sister, Madman and his family, the Guatemala team from First Cov, the Barbers, Bubba and his bride, Mr. Z, Wally and the amazing folks from Compassion Int’l, and the whole host of others who have left home to see the world through God’s economy.

Also to that great group of friends, the Living Witnesses, who traveled to Jamaica for 21 days of concerts, and having our eyes opened in ways that stay with us, 30-some years later.

Thank you. Read more

The Invitation

This is my iPad. There are many like it, but this one is mine…

A thought occurred to me this morning, as I put out my bits and bobs to do my writing thing at my beloved North Office. (That’s CalbertSpeak for Biggby – the one near Celebration Cinema, and my favorite upon all the earth.)

The drill usually goes like this: Get out the writing stuff – keyboard, iPad, stand, extension cord, etc. Then plug stuff in, connect the keyboard, etc. Go get my beverage of choice. (A muffin or goodie is optional, but highly not recommended – they’re delicious, but not Calbert approved…

But once in a great while…

Well, let’s just leave it at that, shall we?)

Anyway, all the bits are bitted, the bobs are bobbing, and the event is ready to begin…

And that’s when I done thunk the thought –

“When do I take the time to invite God to this little wordfest?” Read more

TBT + Update + Foreshadowing: The Tainted Legacy

Yup – this is a Throwback Thursday that also includes an update (A brief update – I promise!) and…
 
FORESHADOWING!
 
(Just getting to write all that gave me goosebumps… because I’m easily amused.)
 
UPDATE: As I move into a new reality, without 16-19 hours of my week occupied by my used-to-be-part-time-but-now-phased-out gig, it’s taking a little effort to try and swing into a new routine. Thus, the blog (and my writing in general) takes a hit, things grow quiet, and even my 4.78 devoted readers look at their watches and consider where their mouse might take them next… 
 
I’m trying to get back to all the fragments of thoughts, ideas, and pieces of Scripture that have been rolling around in my noggin lately, being used as tiny soccer balls by Steve the Mental Hamster, and turning the interior of my skull into one big soccer net. (And that little booger can kick HARD...)
 
THUS, THIS POST – TBT, with an update, that is FORESHADOWING a new post on Tuesday, (ooh, goosebumps!!) where we’ll be taking this thought of legacy and turning it on it’s head thanks to Solomon, the original Wise Guy. (Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk…)

Read more